Blog 10 : Just For You, Mia

Blog 10 : Just For You, Mia

Mia, I'm going to start off by saying sorry to you. It's my job, as your daddy to protect you, to keep you safe from all that's wrong with this world but I failed. I couldn't do the thing that's the first item on every dads to do list "protect your children". I hope you can forgive me for that Mia. I just want you to know that if there was anything I could have done to save you, absolutely anything, I would have done it. There is nothing I wouldn't have done to have you with us right now.

That's not the only thing that I couldn't do, there's an endless list of things that we will never get to do together. Not just us, but all of us, the whole family. You were the final link in the chain for me and your mum, you completed our perfect little family. You are always with us Mia, we try to include you in everything we do, and we always will, but you know that anyway, don't you? You've seen the little gifts that we bring you back from our days out, of course you have.

I'll never get to hold you, to feel your warmth, to feel you wriggling in my arms but that doesn't mean that I don't love you.
I'll never get to kiss you, to tickle your belly, to make you laugh but that doesn't mean that I don't love you.
I'll never get to bath you, to dress you, to play with your beautiful hair but that doesn't mean that I don't love you.
I'll never get to help you walk, help you to talk, help you to write, help you to grow but that doesn't mean that I don't love you.
I'll never see you go to school, see you develop into a teenager, or get to check out your first boyfriend, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you.
I'll never get to be there for you, to pick up the pieces when you got your heart broken, to give you a hug and tell you that everything will be ok but that doesn't mean that I don't love you.
I'll never get to give you away to the man of your dreams, and tell anybody who will listen that my little girl has grown up into a beautiful young woman, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you.

Basically Mia, there is nothing in this world that can stop me loving you. You are, and always will be my little princess. I am so proud of you for fighting the way you did, just to last overnight was a little miracle, but I know you were holding out for your mummy. You couldn't have left us without spending some time with her. The strength you shown in that short time was amazing, I only hope that I have got the same strength in me because that's the only way that I'll get through this.

We talk about you all the time Mia and we all miss you so much. You've seen your big brother waving to you in the sky, he even tells us that he loves you and misses you, we'll make sure that he never forgets you. I like to think of you as a star in the sky, Auntie Jenny & Uncle Adam even named a star for you, and that's what Kyran knows you as, the brightest star in the sky. You'll always be there, looking down us and I know you'll always look after us, it's a comforting feeling knowing that I have my own Guardian Angel here for me.

I've said this in a previous post Mia, but when we said goodbye to you, a part of me died, a part of me went with you, a part of my heart went with you, I'm not the same person that I was. When we do meet again, and I get the piece of my heart back, I've got something for you too. It's a big kiss for my baby girl and a nice tight cuddle from your daddy. Only then will we able to close this chapter, so really, I guess this is a story that never ends, and there is definitely no happy ending.

Until we meet again, I love you so much Mia Rose, my little princess.