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6 : 9 Months
It
is 9 months now since my princess was born. I can't work out whether the time
has passed quickly or not at the moment. On one hand, the time seems to have
dragged like you wouldn't believe, the differing emotions that I feel from day
to day making the days seem never ending and sometimes it feels like time is
standing still. While, on the other hand it feels like it happened only
yesterday. I can still relive the time Mia was with us down to the smallest
detail and I'll often find myself drifting away into the most vivid of
daydreams where I genuinely believe I'm living the whole thing again. One thing
I do know is that 9 months is the time that my amazing wife carried Mia for and
I guess the significance of that time frame is why I'm finding today so
difficult.
9
months is a long time. It's a time that expecting parents use to prepare for
the arrival of a new baby. It's a time during which you never comprehend that
at the end of it you won't actually get to take your baby home with you. It's a
time in which you effectively plan your babies life although I'll be talking
about that in a future blog called 'Grieving the Future'.
I
think today helps me to comprehend the extra grief and heartache that my wife
feels as I can relate the 9 months of pain that I've lived through to the 9
months of kicks, wriggles and physical and emotional bonds that were built
during pregnancy. I think my wife is a truly amazing woman, the strength she
has shown throughout this has been unbelievable. I know how hard it is for her
to even get out of bed in the morning, never mind being an absolutely
incredible mummy to Kyran & Mia and the perfect wife to me. But every day,
she does it.
Today
has been hard, tomorrow will be even harder, but as long as I know that I've
got my beautiful wife Vikki and my adorable son Kyran with me, all with our
Angel Mia looking down on us, we'll be ok. I have no idea how long it will
take, and it's not something that I can walk away from but this is the hand
that we've been dealt, and one way or another we'll get through it.
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